20 years from now i wanna look back on my tumblr

So yesterday i got back to my dorm at 3am because i was at the RAZA center helping for senior weekend. I woke up at 8:30 and had MCB lecture——-FUCK DAT CLASS. jk it’s interesting. 

then i had lunch and went to help paint a poster and move stuff to HAAS Pavilion. We set up, then i went to choir and it was lonnnnng. Then i went back to the pavilion and did random shit. 

today was so long. but i had so much fun dancing and doing the wobble with my summer bridge RA

at the end we did a debrief and we had a unity clap

and that shit gets to you man

It’s crazy that even after almost two months of not talking, i still care so much. I wish we could go back to the summer where things were okay, and when we would go on adventures all the time and i'd just fall in love with the idea of even having something. Liking someone comes with way too many complications. This is why me and oreos are meant to be

"People wait
all week for friday,
all year for summer,
all life for happiness."

(via sensitizes)

(via vinewyuh)

A post about my day

today was an alright day, the weather made me really happy. I was really tired though and i've been super busy. I'll prolly regret staying up this late tomorrow morning, but who am i kidding? I barely get any sleep anymore. I’m lucky if i get 5 hours. People weren’t joking when they said that you don’t sleep in college

I started off with my MCB midterm, which i know i did miserably in. A part of my has given up in school, and a part of me is just accepting the fact that i changed the grading options. I feel as if im still struggling with my transition to college. I expected my second semester to be better, in the sense of achieving higher grades. But honestly, i feel like it’s impossible to at least even get an A. But im working so so hard, and it’s the hardest i have ever worked. 

After my MCB midterm i really felt like shit, and i walked out of wheeler and said to myself

You know what steph. If you don’t pass this class, it’s not going to ruin you. So i went to the GBC because i had a 20 min gap and i saw Aasim and we talked about school, and i really miss him. He’s like one of my best guy friends at Cal besides Eduardo, and i feel like he’s just disappeared. 

Then i had dicussion for Psych and i went to Cafe 3 and ate lunch/did homework. Then i went to my MCB discussion which was STUPID AS FUCK BECAUSE WE JUST HAD A MIDTERM AND THERE WAS NOTHING TO GO OVER 

anywaysi went to the SLC with my writing tutor and she helped me on my essay, and gave me some ideas on my research paper. Honestly im fucking scared. I strongly beleived that i was “decent’ at writing, but when i left high school, that idea was shattered and all of a sudden, papers that got A’s began to receive C’s. 

Then i had choir at 5 and that rehearsal felt soooo long. Then i got out of choir and went to my scholarship meeting, which i haven’t been to since the beginning of the semester. I feel bad because i'm not as involved in my scholarship and i want to change that. When i got there, everyone greeted me and hugged me, and i felt so loved. I checked in with the director and she asked me if i was okay and i told her that honestly, im just struggling a lot. She told me that TAAP was there to support me, and that yes it’s rough but soon enough, i'll be doing better and graduating. And idk, i just felt so thankful to be a part of this scholarship. It’s like summer search all over again

After that i went to help with senior weekend stuff for RAZA, and i just really love RAZA. It’s the one community that makes me feel like i actualy have a place at Cal.

I hope tomorrow is an alright day too

At this point in the semester, everyone is having mental breakdowns. Including myself