Why is beauty defined by clear skin, makeup, dressing nice, and straight combed hair.
Don’t get me wrong, i love dressing up and “trying to look good”. College has made me gain a fashion sense. But i hate the days where i just want to chill. With this i mean no makeup, messy bun, a hoodie, running shorts, and friken addidas slippers. That to me is comfort. But i go to class like this and people are like oh did you have a good workout? And im just like no bitch. im just fuckin chillen. why can’t i fuckin chill. like when i say i could wear work out gear/soccer sweats forever. i literally mean fuckin forever.
i dont even know what my purpose of this post is. But i guess im trying to say that i don’t feel beautiful unless i dress nice, have my hair straightened, and i have makeup on. Especially with my hair. Like most days, it’s just not working out with this stupid berkeley fog so i put it up in a bun, and i don’t feel beautiful. Like i can’t help that my hair is so curly and frizzy and volumous. Sometimes i feel like im judged because it’s not “neat” or it’s not straight or it’s not unfrizzed? idk. And i shouldn’t even feel that way because it’s my natural hair right? And i shouldn’t feel ugly when i embrace my natural skin with acne scars. but i do. i feel the need to cover up and TRY to flatten out the parts that stick out of my hair.
society has built us in a way where we define beauty like this, and im trying not to let it get to me but it does. why am i feeling this. fuck being a woman sometimes. i have a lot of issues with myself, and i thought i had overcome them this summer, but i guess not