I’m not sure where i see myself anymore. I was so sure on many things back in the day. My freshman year i knew for sure i wanted to go to a UC and major in some type of category of sociology, and i still kinda do. I was sure i wanted to get the hell out of Hayward and leave to a different city. But when the future is fast approaching, it does nothing but cause sweaty palms and my pulse to race if i think deeply enough. I can’t picture myself being alone.

Honestly, i don’t want to think about it, even though i should because the future is fast approaching. Or maybe it’s because i’ve lost a lot of motivation this year. But when i look back, i have worked so damn hard to make myself a well rounded student and just maintain decent grades. I know a lot of people say grades matter, and sat scores, and so many other things. And it’s scary to say this, but i don’t really see the point of it anymore. Numbers and grades should never define a person.

I do see myself going to a college and majoring in some type of study that involves reading and writing. I see myself studying abroad in spain or Thailand. I see myself graduating and having absolutely no direction in my life. Traveling and doing things out of the goodness of my heart, such as going to Africa and more countries in need. I see myself going there, and teaching kids, and volunteering. I just want to be able to say i made a difference across the world. If i could major in doing things out of the kindness of my heart i’d do it in a heartbeat. I just like to see others smile, laugh, and be happy with the thought of knowing that i helped. That’s all

Here’s to the topic i once freely talked about with confidence, but all of a sudden makes my mind go insane and scare the living shit out of me.

  1. argonots said: Dont be scared Steph. Its true, the futute will come fast and its pretty intimidating, but youre a goal setter and go-getter. As long as you set goals for yourself, you have purpose. & I know you’ll be ready, no doubt. You’ve come this far you can do.it.. Just keep your head…
  2. stephaneeezy posted this